"You know when you’re drowning you don’t actually inhale until right before you black out. It’s called voluntary apnea. It’s like no matter how much you’re freaking out, the instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won’t open your mouth until you feel like your head’s exploding. Then when you finally do let it in, that’s when it stops hurting. It’s not scary anymore, it’s… it’s actually kind of peaceful."
This is a quote from one of my favorite tv shows. Although this quote is about drowning, I feel like it can be applied to life as well. Think of it like this, instead of drowning in water, you're drowning in the struggle of life. You may be freaking out, you may be holding your breath until you feel like your head's exploding, but you can't let the pain and struggle in. You can't let yourself drown in everything that's going bad. So you hold your breath, you hold it until you can't anymore. Because that's the only way to survive right? Hold your breath, don't let the bad things in, and if you can hold on long enough maybe the bad things will go away. But sometimes it's not that easy. Sometimes it feels like when you're just about to reach the surface, about to be able to catch your breath, something else happens and your pushed back under the water, harder and further than the last time and you're once again forced to struggle to survive. So you begin to wonder, "What if I just gave up? What if I just let myself drown? Then the pain would go away, right?" But there's always that voice in the back of your head telling you to hold on, saying just hold on a little longer, just a little bit longer. Now you have a choice, you could hold your breath just a little bit longer like the voice is telling you or you could give up and let the water in. What would you choose? Would you choose to survive, to hold on just that little bit longer? Or would you choose to give up? To let yourself drown so that you didn't have to feel the pain anymore? Would you choose to fight or give up?